So there I was, down at the plaza, and some local comes running up to me to tell me that Robert de Niro is sitting having a coffee in our square! I say “nah, it’s gotta be one of those impersonators, but leave it with me”! Over I stroll to Roberto, or march up to him rather, with one of those full on Glynny wattage smiles: “Mr Tarantino, how nice to see you in our village” and of course as I see his face grow into that menacing look, I add “only joking with you Mr de Niro, if it had been Quentin, we would have battened down the hatches already!”
Well, I sat and chatted with Bob for about and hour and a half, making sure that our village was treating him fine – the way we like to do that for our Hollywood superstar visitors. He was here on a recce with one of his producers and I entertained him in my splendid and professional manner, even telling him of my plans to change the name of the village when I become mayoress! I managed to get first born and side kick Facu, aka the Burn, to show up with their guitars and they serenaded him for a while too. I’ll say this for the man, generous too, they got a lovely tip! Even the ex got a call and was delighted to be dragged away from selling houses to meet the legend and then all the various on-lookers, hangers on and other interested (for that read nosy) people got called in for a selfie with one of cinema’s greats – sorry can’t share, had to sign a confidentially kind of thing! Sadly second born was at school but not a problem, a little video recorded message was made for him, a keepsake for all time!
I went on my way but not without first giving him my card and explaining that, yes I would be delighted to have the film rewritten to include a part in it for me, especially as he now knew what calibre and talent there was in Mallorca! And damn, what a good hour and a half that was!
Bad news is of course I got the script today along with the shooting schedule and I am trying not to scream but “why is there so much hanging about on a film set ffs!!”
Mind you, he’s invited us out to dinner tonight and told me to bring the family so that’s me, the ex and his girlfriend plus her two kids, first born and his girlfriend (shall I tell her parents?), second born and a friend, my mum, my sister and the Burn and his lovely wife. We’re going to Caimari, you know, the very good Ca Na Toneta restaurant where Michelle got taken by some ex US ambassador and his wife last year – if it was good enough for her, it will be fine for our guest!
Delirious or deluded! I don’t care, that was the best night’s lack of sleep for a long time! I’m still giggling at my audacity for marching up to him like I did!
Updated blog post reads:
Sadly, most of us have forgotten who we are and forgotten, above all, that we can’t “take it” with us when we die! Obviously there will be a bit of tension at dinner tonight, after all there will be 3 Caribbean women in attendance! Mr Roberto Dinero, remember this:
All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances;
Whilst you might play many parts in your lifetime, don’t fall under the spell of the miser and play that as your best role yet! You were made for better stuff señor – give up the exploitation and rich man’s playthings, they are unbecoming of a true master!
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