Magic and the secret garden

Some of you may recall that I “won” the Euro Millions recently, a nice little amount of 15 million euros and that I spent it in a flash – this all happened in my head in a 30 minute drive from Palma to school pick up!  I bought a load of property, gifted it around, including my favourite building of all time which I turned into the Binissalem Peace Centre!  I also bought my lovely eco café people Javi and Elena a building and also my son’s eco school a building, amongst other things!

Today, I discovered that the building I had ear-marked for the Peace Centre is the new location for my son’s school! I am sitting writing this with the biggest smile on my face as I enjoy the wonder of magic and knowing that believing is seeing and even if I do see it slightly differently, it all works out!!  I shall have to relocate my Peace Centre but what a result with the win!

Just before I heard the news, I had parked my car and seen a sign saying “Euromillones – 63 millones” and what do you think I did!  I went and “won” it again!

I spent it in the 12 minutes it takes to drive from the school back home and you’ll be happy to know that the following got 10 million each – Mallorca based not for profits PermaMed, Ondine and Fundación Sa Llavor and London based Communities Empowerment Network.  They will be able to carry on doing what they do so brilliantly already and this money will help them take the pressure off, to get really stuck in and take what they already do so selflessly to a new level.  From promoting permaculture to a wider audience, to keeping our seas and oceans clean and also devloping new ways of holistically educating and caring for our next generations.

I also put aside 5 million to create old people communities including making sure that there is a healthy support for the dying and a million of that was donated to the awesome people at Capsula Mundi to help with their development of the burial pod.

Eight million euros was used island wide for culture and the arts and lots of projects, existing and new, got lucky by being gifted money to help promote culture and the arts.  First born is well happy with the new studio and jazz appreciation school!

I’ve got 10 million left over but I want to go abroad and go back to my roots, Jamaica and Wales, and see what I can do there with the money.  Watch this space.

I’m happy and content – 63 million euros well spent!

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Special moments

 

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What a weekend!  I facilitated the monthly Death Café on Friday evening in my favourite eco café, L’Exquisit and we were nineteen, a record breaker and hardly any room left to move! Although I try to propose different ways of doing things, the group always seems to want to remain in the big circle and talk, one by one.  However, if numbers continue to rise, we’ll have to occupy the whole café and not just the back room!

This meeting was a little bit different as I was inspired to ask at the beginning, along with each person’s introduction, for everyone to share a quality that they believed people would use to describe them when they were no longer here!  That shook things up and some found it a little surprising to think that far ahead.  I went back to qualities at the end of the session by asking everyone what quality they would take with them until the next meeting, one that they would imbibe, include and inspire in their daily lives – mine was faith, oh and being present, I wanted two qualities!

The monthly meetings are always moments of insight with the wonderful experience of hearing from other people and enjoying their take on matters.  Each meeting attracts many new people and I love seeing the core members there, time and again.

As usual, it all too soon came to an end but the next Mallorca Death Café will be on Friday 17th June at 6.30pm – all welcome and although the meeting is conducted in Spanish, there is always translation available.

The weekend continued with a wedding on the beach at which I was invited to officiate the ceremony.  I had worked closely with the couple to get the ceremony just right and wow, didn’t we do well!  It helped that the couple – not a first love but definitely a match made in heaven – were two people enjoying a thoroughly “conscious relationship” as demonstrated by their thoughts and opinions on what marriage meant to them which was shared in the ceremony.

I was truly honoured to facilitate this moment in their lives and the groom spoke about conscious commitment whilst the bride added that freedom can be found in the commitment two people make.  Their relationship is at once a mature one and totally childlike in its innocence.  And to top it all, the some fifteen young people and children there were mesmerised by the more than half an hour we took for the ceremony.  Never have I seen such full and present attention and to see it from young people took my breath away.

From the wedding, it was onto see first born perform his gipsy jazz duo with him on guitar and singing accompanied by young Gavin on guitar.  He is a natural that boy (dare I say he takes after my side of the family!!) and his humble confidence on stage is a delight to see.  His voice is a gift from the gods and his hard work and dedication is plain to see.  The two young musicians worked hard to please us with their sound and my only complaint is that society has forgotten how to listen.  Luckily, there were some audience members who took no hostages and shushed for people to stop talking!

Special moments, they come and they go, and when they come,  so many at once, life is pure wonder!

 

L’Exquisit – eco café located in C/Rectoria 2, Binissalem

Djaume Reinhardt Jazz & Swing – available for weddings, concerts and private events, contact Noah on +34 630 590 262

Mallorca Death Cafe – monthly meetings in L’Exquisit or ask me about hosting your own

Wedding celebrant – http://www.glynisgermancelebrant.com

Living and dying

I recently went to an event at the people’s cinema in Palma, Cine Ciutat, organised by Dona Sana Feminista.  Various clips of films showing different dying scenes were shown.  The Sea Inside (Mar Adentro), based on the true story of a man who spent 28 years fighting for the right to end his life was shown as well as The English Patient, One True Thing and Whose Life is it Anyway.

The event, “La muerte forma parte de la vida” (death forms part of life), also heard the views on death and dying from two eminent and respected doctors.  Dr Carlos Barra, member of the Spanish association Derecho a Morir Dignamente (the right to die with dignity), and Dr Enric Benito, senior consultant in palliative care and in charge of the Balearic palliative care units.

What struck me about the clips and the debate afterwards was firstly that the topic of death is everywhere.  From Death Cafés taking place all over the world in which the subject discussed is death – my own participation in this has monthly meetings well attended here on the island – to end of life care, soul midwifery, green burials – it’s become a 21st century concern and a one that is changing perceptions everywhere.

Dr Barra talked about freedom of choice, democracy and dignity whilst Dr Benito talked about spirituality and transcendence almost promoting healthy dying.  They agreed on dignity and that things need to change in terms of care and support as well as choices.  I felt that whilst it is important that dignity and choice are paramount for people in moments of pain, what wasn’t discussed is how we live life.  Dr Benito did touch upon this by suggesting that people die like they have lived.  The room seemed to take an in breath at such a suggestion but I liked what he said.

What does that mean, to me?  Choose a life of happiness is a start.  Choosing relationships that allow me to grow, choosing to learn from challenging moments in my life, choosing good health over medication – the list goes on.  I chose home births for my two boys.  Why?  Because I could.  I had healthy pregnancies and I wanted them to be born to people they knew, in a setting that was calm, quiet and above all, stress free.  I could have chosen a hospital birth with strangers, maybe the same doctor who would have seen me throughout my pregnancy might have been there.  Along with bright lights, forms to fill out, questions to answer – but that wasn’t for me.  My list of choices affects the education of my children preferring small and alternative to big and standard; my working habits at this age of my life have also been chosen with me in mind.  In fact I have never been poorer financially as I am now, having chosen to give up a well paid job some years ago to forge ahead in a new direction – one that is satisfying, one that is helping others and one that fulfils me.  When I die, I shall chose to die in a healthy way, whether I am ill or not.

I remember my good friend Rufus who died of cancer some years ago.  He was well supported by his partner, my good friend Jo, and lots of friends besides.  The weekend before his death, we friends gathered at his home to support him and Jo.  We knew that Rufus wanted to die there and we wanted to respect his wishes as much as possible, but at the same time, this was a decision that affected Jo too.  It was decided that he would go to Hospital Joan March, up near Bunyola, where they have a specialised, palliative care unit.  He was admitted on the Saturday.  The care there was excellent.  It was attentive, it was peaceful, it was accommodating and it was filled with love and light.  Over the next days, Rufus received many visits and Jo was supported at all times.  Between the friends and the hospital staff, the end soon came.  When I arrived there in the middle of the night a few minutes after Rufus had left his body, I entered a room with Jo at his side and a nurse in the background.  I shall always remember her name – Consuelo (comfort) – and I shall always remember her, not for anything she said but for all that she did by being there, close to Jo to support her in that moment and allowing Rufus to go to sleep, forever.

I want to die like Rufus should ever I become ill.  He was dignified whilst ill, conscious to the last whilst ill, medicated for the pain whilst ill and above all, alive and happy whilst ill.  He never complained and I think his acceptance of what was going on in his life helped him.  He died like he lived – as himself and with a greater wisdom and a dignity which was all his.

 

Fun-d raising!

fundraising; CEN; London; cycling; Prudential London 100

Brother Deuan

My brother Deuan is an awesome man, he is 56 years old and the oldest teenager I know!  Why a teen?  He has an incredible energy that is exhuberance personified and coupled with his spontaneity about everything happening around him, he is never still for long.

My brother Deuan is someone I admire very much.  He has many talents and he is someone that people love to meet and know, so great is his energy that he uplifts wherever he goes.  He also walks his talk and when he puts his mind to do something, he always follows through.

My brother Deuan works in the charitable sector in England in the world of education.  The organisation our father Gerry German started over a decade ago is Communities Empowerment Network and Deuan is Strategic Director there, responsible for fund raising amongst other things.  Communities Empowerment Network or CEN as it is also known provide “Free Independent Expert Advice, Support, and Representation to parents and to carers of children who are at risk of exclusion or have been excluded”. They also provide excellent training in dealing with exclusion for both the community and professional organisations.

CEN do the work they do by relying on donations and funding and so on the 2nd August my brother Deuan will be cycling the Prudential London Surrey 100 to raise much needed funds for this organisation.

At times it can be useful to think beyond our own lives and families and commit ourselves to being part of the global family.  We are the village raising our children and some of those children here in the United Kingdom, excluded or expelled from schools need our help.  CEN is the organisation with an incredible wealth of knowledge, who are committed to supporting and providing information to the more than 1000 children and young people who come to them every year in a moment of crisis.  Most cases should not have come to the desks of CEN but as we live in a world of reaction and intolerance coupled with confusion and fear with a system that doesn’t always benefit a child who might be different, the cases continue to pile up.

Your child might have been lucky in a number of ways with the school you chose for them and that is great news.  I am so happy with the choices I made for my sons and my second born enjoys an alternative education in an eco school in Mallorca.  However, all of the children today are tomorrow’s adults and our companions, colleagues and collaborators of the future.  Where one is failed, we all have failed.

If you are interested in knowing more about CEN and what they do, please visit their website and contact my brother Deuan there – volunteers always welcome and any professionals wishing to offer pro bono work too (lawyers, educators, social media, marketing, fund raisers, event planners etc).  If you can donate to this particular race then please visit the Just Giving webpage to do so.  If you wish to tithe a part of your salary or income in a more sustainable way, then CEN would love to hear from you.

In memory of our father Gerry German, a man who had many children – 5 were biological and hundreds of thousands were his soul children – “believing is seeing” and he saw the very best of each and every one of us!

 

Communties Empowerment Network            http://www.cenlive.org/

To donate, London Surrey 100                        https://www.justgiving.com/Deuan-German4/

The sound of music

 

Noah Angel Orchard German; Es P'Dal Binissalem; blues;

First born, second gig!

I went out last night, surprise surprise!  And in Bini too!  The reason?  First-born was playing his second gig with his band, currently going by the name of “The Hats” but that just came to them whilst they were playing last night so it could change!  And what a great gig it was too!

The neighbour was there feeling as proud as I was and at one point he got up and sang a song with his son!  I had gone with my other neighbour and her husband and had so much fun collecting votes, as my dad would say when I would canvas the floor in the village, whilst bumping into people.  The pub/pizzeria was packed as it was also tapas night in the village so everyone was out!

And what a talent!  I shall now spend the next few sentences boasting about my first born as is my right as his mother.  He has a beautiful voice and his guitar playing just gets better and better.  His self presence and command of the stage was mind-blowing, he was born to be up there.  He made his audience very comfortable and that was the atmosphere he created.  I was as proud as punch!

The rest of the band members were equally awesome.  Remy on guitar and voice was also comfortable on stage and made us laugh with his playful way.  Joe Woodman aka José was the crac on harmonica, what a talent! And Omar, my favourite vegetarian, was beautifully lost in his drums and seemed to be in his own paradise.  At one point the four of them were playing whilst facing each other and their connection to each other was a sight to behold.  I could feel the connection it was so palpable!

All in all it was a great evening!  There were more than a few sore heads today, not least my neighbours!!  First-born got back in the early hours and I think I had the proudest mother conversation with him ever, or did I dream that?!

Next Thursday, Bar Es Suro in Binissalem for Thursday tapas – see  you there!

 

Check them out here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVuRY2n2v9E

 

School trip

Serra de Tramuntana, world heritage, sa llavor eco school, sa llavor foundation, mallorca, spain

World Heritage – La Serra de Tramuntana

I dropped second born off yesterday for his end of year school trip!  Whilst lots of kids in Mallorca have been nipping over to the mainland to stay in hotels and enjoy adventure parks, the kids at his school are on an adventure of another sort!

As you may know, second born goes to an independent, alternative school called Sa Llavor.  It’s an eco-school which means that they base their education on the main principals of sustainability within an holistic educational setting, integrating nature and character amongst other fine practises.

Yesterday should have started for him first thing with departure from school up to the UNESCO recognised World Heritage Site of the Serra mountain range of the north west of Mallorca.  Unfortunately he woke up at 6am with stomach ache which turned into vomitting quickly!  Nerves were beginning, after all 4 days without wi-fi was a daunting thought!  He asked for rescue remedy but as first born had needed it for a performance the previous week, I didn’t have any to hand!

I sent him back to sleep knowing he would feel fine later and knowing that he would go on this once-a-year adventure that the school organises for the last year primary kids and the older secondary children.  I was already down for the car pool later in the afternoon to pick up from the excursion and take them back to the hostal so I knew he would be joining them, come hell or high water!

We set off in a hurry when we suddenly got a call bringing the time forward as the rain had been torrential up there and everyone was soaked.  Off we went in a caravan of cars, dad in the van at the end of it.  We arrived with the sun coming back out and a cheer from the kids and two adults when they saw that second born was there.  Happy faces, albeit soaked bodies, were taken up to the refuge that was to be their home for the first and second nights and wow, what luxury!  If you are going to stay there with a school apparently you don’t pay!

At this point the five lucky parents who got to be part of the end of the first day were pointedly shown the door and there we left them!  Their itinerary looks wonderful, we were sorry to leave!  They’ll take in two more days of Puig de Tomir, Sa Calobra and Torrent de Pareis and on the third day take the boat to the port of Soller to stay their last night in another refuge.  The last day they’ll catch trams and trains home and I’m sure that second born will be more than happy to kick off his walking boots and share his stories of this special school trip with us!

Sa Llavor eco school                 http://www.sallavor.es

Serra mountain range              www.serradetramuntana.net

Walking & refuges                    www.conselldemallorca.net

 

8 years on…

Father and sons

Father and sons

Can you believe it?  Eight years ago I was about to embark on a most terrifying journey – divorce!  It was the most crushing summer of my life, nothing compared to the pain I went through and my immature way of handling things.  I hurt, wow did I hurt.  I was angry and that’s not a nice state of being to either experience or to witness.  During this journey my parents were my rock.  Although I never talked in depth to my dad about things, he was the one who initiated all the telephone calls, handing me over to my mother to go deeper into things.  I got through through all of it thanks to their unwavering support – to me, the boys and to the boys’ father too, they never stopped respecting him as their father.

My best friend Lana, godmother to second born, was also my rock.  She was between living here and back home in Croatia that year but she was there at the end of the phone or right by my side when she would visit.  She was the voice of reason, the voice of calm, the voice of practical common sense and thanks to her I was able to make sure that on a practical, financial level, everything was taken care of for the boys.

It is now eight years since and I rejoice at having received the gift of final separation of a relationship which had fallen dead on its feet without either of us realising at the time.  The journey has been intense and so worthwhile.  I have learned that I do eat more when stressed and I envy all those women who lose tons of weight when they separate, alas it was not meant to be for me!!

I also discovered some really good girlfriends who have been there for me during those hard times and since.  Interestingly enough most of them have left Mallorca since and whilst I miss them very much, I recognise that they were here at a very important time of my life and I thank them from the bottom of my heart – they helped rebuild me.  I am learning to reconnect with people again, slowly but I am getting there and I am starting to see a way forward.

I have done a lot of great things since that summer of 2007.  I went back to work and enjoyed five and a half years in the best job I ever had, working for Planet Space.  I still enjoy connecting with my old bosses and colleagues from time to time, taking along a cake for them to enjoy or just popping in.  I started a Peace Centre which was an ambitious project, stalled but not forgotten.  I have my own weekly radio show, “The Happiness Café” every Monday morning at 10am on Mallorca Sunshine Radio – there’s a plug you can’t ignore!  I am proud of that show and what it stands for and invite you to follow.

The best of all is now, 8 years on, as my ex, our sons’ father has come to live next-door-but-one!  Yes he has taken number 2 in our street and there is only number 4 between our houses.  I am so happy, my hand on my heart, this is the best thing to have happened to our family and no words can describe the joy I feel at having Rob living nearby.  To see how happy the boys are is to feel that Rob and I have come a long way since June 2007.  He still annoys the hell out of me but I am doing his washing until he gets his own washing machine.  The laugh I had with first born when he realised I was hanging out his dad’s washing is priceless – you should have seen the two of us in the garden with me begging him not to tell his friends!  Second born is just a happy bunny, he doesn’t like us arguing but hey, we’re still learning, his father and I!

 

Harmony

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Happy family!

We’re getting there, the ex and I!  It’s coming up to 8 years this summer that we split up in a manner befitting a Mexican soap opera but that’s all in the past now.  I behaved badly in the beginning – and how – but gradually I learned things about myself and started to grow up and take responsibility for me first.  It was my mid-life crisis – if I live to 90 that is – and now I am happy to know that I don’t need another mid-life crisis, one was enough!

This week I have appreciated my ex’s kindness as out of the blue yesterday he showed up at the door with wood he had cut for the fire.  It’s little things like this that really create a good atmosphere.  Without thinking therefore, I offered dinner that evening and we sat with second-born and enjoyed a meal together.  First-born, as often happens, was out!!

This week I have also appreciated first born´s efforts to make up for leaving the cake out on Sunday.  Resident diva-cat Miss Mypenny Mishau very delicately ate one half of the carrot cake I had made for a customer!  I think it was worth losing the business because my older son has been making smoothies for the family before he rushes off to work at 7am.  How lovely it is to get up to that every morning this week.  I even forgive the dishes in the sink although I wasn’t amused at the fruit in the general bin instead of bringing in the organic bin from outside!  Oh well, I am getting there, slowly.

The topic for the show this week is on harmony so I have been thinking a lot about what that means to me.  It’s all very well that I ask our listeners to comment but I too have to have some thoughts.  So I have been remembering when I used to go and visit my brother and his wife when I was in my 20s and their house was always so harmonious.  They never watched tv, infact they went without tv for over a year once because they believed it to be broken, or was that what they told the kids!  We would visit and the children would be busy playing or doing arty things if the weather was bad and always the atmosphere was a peaceful one.

I think harmony has to accompany silence, quiet, it’s the peaceful moments that create harmony.  The vibrations we pass onto each other can be harmonious or not, just like a music that has harmony can create a stillness in our heart but if the music grates away, that too can grate upon our soul and disturb us.

I enjoy my life very much.  I am happy that I am growing up and learning more and more as each year goes by.  As my beloved father used to say to me on my birthdays – it’s not another year older, it’s another one wiser.  It’s true.  Opening my heart, my eyes and my ears to all around and listening for the music, the harmony, life is so much easier.  For sure, I have moments in which I cannot hear anything except the noise of my mind and my heart beats faster and my eyes blink and doesn’t see much.  But the soap opera way of living in my 20s and 30s is slowly leaving me.

Being the better side of 50 is a wonderful experience so far.  Sure my body flops in yoga when teacher Eva effortlessly shows us another posture but the fact that I do yoga now is a plus.  I am learning to relax a bit more each time I get up and get creative, the dry throat and racing heart are still there but the mind is a little better.  Maybe by 80 years I shall get up and do improvisation with no hang ups at all!  By the way, first show with my improv class is on Sunday 8th March, International Women’s Day and in Spanish so I hope to see you there!

So harmony, welcome into my heart and my home – I enjoy having you as part of my life and I look forward to having you more and more.  Where does harmony come from?  I believe the first step is love, in loving myself I can experience more and more harmony in my life.  If I love me, I can love others more easily.  It’s not been easy at times in the last 8 years to love my ex but I wasn’t loving me enough.  Don’t get me wrong, he still drives me insane and I can make up a list as long as both my arms with complaints and criticisms when I get going.  That’s why harmony is so important in relationships and with love as the foundation, anything is possible.

Listen out to my show The Happiness Café next Monday at 10am.  Download the app and take me with you.  I look forward to hearing your thoughts on harmony too!

The Happiness Café Radio Show – http://www.mallorcasunshineradio.com

“Improv Show” with Estudio Gori Artieda Sunday, 8 March 2015 6pm in Teatre Lloseta, Mallorca

Je suis Ms. Nadia Lopez

Mott Hall Bridges Academy; Brownsville; HONY; Humans of New York; Brandon Stanton; education; scholorships; fund raising; inspiration; values

Principal Nadia Lopez, Mott Hall Bridges Academy (Photo Brandon Stanton)

Last week I was inspired by this woman!  Along with thousands of people around the world, I took note of her thanks to Brandon Stanton’s Humans of New York blog.  If you have never heard of this blog, check it out now!  Brandon Stanton is living proof that we all have a purpose and he has found his purpose which is to allow people to be seen, heard, listened to and believed in!  It all started with him randomly stopping a young man, Vidal, last week and asking if he could take his picture.  What makes Brandon Stanton special is that he asks some quite meaningful questions to the subjects of his pictures and this day was no exception.  Vidal told the HONY world that his principal, Ms Nadia Lopez valued him, she has told him he matters.  Not only him but all the scholars at Mott Hall Bridges Academy in Brownsville New York.

I want to be like Principal Nadia Lopez!  I want to be a woman who influences others, who believes in others, who guides others.  This is where I want my life energy directed, to positively influence those around me.  I believe I am Ms Lopez, we all are, no matter how small our contribution to our world, we all matter!

I know another Ms Lopez, another influential being who believed everyone mattered and he was called Gerry German.  He was an educator too and he was a man who influenced the thousands of children who had the good fortune to cross his path.  He taught in Jamaica, England, North Wales and Nigeria.  He was one of the founder members of STOPP (Society of Teachers Opposed to Physical Punishment) in the late 60s. He was Chief Education Officer at the Commission for Racial Equality back in the 80s.  He was involved with the Working Group Against Racism in Children’s Resources in the 90s after his retirement as an activist.  His proudest moment was founding the Communities Empowerment Network, CEN, in 1999 an advocacy and campaigning service, working for equality and justice in education particularly with African Caribbean parents whose children had been permanently excluded from mainstream education.  He was a daring and innovative man, a concientious objector, he was also my father.

I am blessed to have been his daughter, I had the good fortune to be born to him and my mother Patricia, two hugely influential people, two incredible beings who have loved and guided me at every step of the way.  I attended one of the schools where Gerry was the head, or principal as you say in America.  I saw the love the school kids had for him, never more strongly demonstrated than when he was sacked from the Mold Alun as being too “much” for the establishment!  I was stopped by school bullies and told to pull up my socks and make my dad proud of me because they were proud to consider themselves his children.  I picked up the phone many a time whilst living with mum and dad or visiting them and many an ex student would ring to share their good news – graduating from school or university or just wanting to share what a huge influence Gerry had had on their lives.

Gerry passed away in May 2012 at the ripe old age of 84.  He passed in the night after having spent the day before at the office in Brixton where he met with a young man, recently excluded from school.  That day, my father had brought the first smile to this young man since he had taken on his case.  My father believed in him and that day proved to the young man that he mattered.  He went to bed that night satisfied with another good day, expecting to get up the next day to go back to work.  He left a legacy, he left behind an organisation that is relentless in providing justice and equality for all in education in Britain.  He left a team committed to this ideal, working together and now guided by my brother Deuan and joined by advocates, volunteers, trustees and many, many children needing their services.  He left his mark.

Ms Lopez is the same.  She believes in her kids.  She knows that everyone of them matters and she has high expectations of them.  She leads her team like my father led his team by being the example.  She is a woman with her heart in education, she is the teacher, the real meaning of the teacher.  I salute Ms Lopez and I say “Je suis Principal Nadia Lopez” – je suis in the sense of improving the lives of all, not trashing the lives of any!

Mott Hall Bridges Academy has now had over 700,000 dollars raised in less than a week and these funds will be used to form the Vidal Scholarship Fund, named after this young man who one day was stopped in the streets of his neighbourhood and asked by a stranger if he could have his photograph taken.  Brandon Stanton, Nadia Lopez, Gerry German – these are people who are proof that when we find our purpose in life, we are where we are meant to be.

We all matter, let’s never forget that!

 

 

CEN (Please consider donating)                        http://www.cenlive.org/

Humans of New York                                           http://www.humansofnewyork.com/

Mott Hall Bridges Academy                                http://www.mhbabrooklyn.com/

To donate to Mott Hall Bridges Academy        http://bit.ly/1JmIB8u

Sisterhood

Girlfriends' get together; sisterhood; best friends; support; fun

Girlfriends’ get together

We somehow manage to be our own worst enemies, women that is.  I see it all the time, that sneaky, down the nose look at another woman, generally a woman who is attractive and most often from another good-looking woman!

Not all women appreciate the health benefits of getting on with each other – some of those benefits are laughter, support, advice, being there when things get tough, the list is a long one.  I see how men compete with one another on many levels but they don’t waste time bitching about the other, it’s not personal for them.  I remember when my friend, before she became my ex-friend along with my ex-partner, proudly boasted how much better she got on with men.  I should have seen the writing on the wall then but blindly I thought she was joking!  Nothing would stop her in her goal to have men all around her, including my ex.  Women like her are the obvious ones at a party and it is guaranteed that nothing will stop them going after the good-looking guys, perhaps moving on if he’s married, perhaps not!  They are the ones who don’t look another woman in the eye if she is introduced to them, especially if the other woman is attractive.

I have always been a bit of an idiot by giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, naively hoping that they will change and see how wonderful women really are.  Then I realise that as long as we women don’t appreciate each other first and foremost, then we shall always be competitive of other women and lose out on the huge and amazing benefits.  The life-long friendships, support, picking up when we haven’t seen each other for years at a time, the beauty of having girlfriends goes on and on.

I actually prefer the company of women, always have and imagine nothing will change that now at my young 53 years. I come from a family of matriarchs – impressive women, intelligent, good-looking, kind, funny, just downright gorgeous women. I went to a girls’ boarding school and had the best time ever.  I look back with very fond memories of my time there and thank facebook for getting us back together again over the past few years.

I am also lucky that my girlfriends are truly amazing women and I am blessed with a fair few of them, from all over the world and scattered all over the world.  They are all good for so many things and all different in their way but the common thread weaving them together is their maturity and ever growing wisdom – I love them!

I was back in England for Christmas and I got together with a few.  On the Sunday between Christmas and New Year I had lunch with Diana, it has been about 10 years since we last saw each other and it felt like yesterday.  Then the next couple of days I spent with Anna, Sabrina and Daniella and what a feast of joy that was (our Mandy unfortunately couldn’t join us).  I was so proud of what my girlfriends have been achieving with their lives since we last saw each other.  Brianne is always there for me but sadly this time, I was full of flu and so just saw her briefly.  I use skype as another way to stay in touch and Lana, BFF is often there for good advice and cheer.  Sylvia is always on the end of the phone and dependable Virtu and Cati around the corner.  Ones I don’t see for years on end – the list is really long, believe me – are caught up with sporadically and we always feel like it is yesterday since we last spoke!  This list includes cousins and I have the best cousins in the world!  Of course top of the list of women in my life who are there for me include my mother and my two sisters!

So sistas, take a look around you and appreciate all the amazing women in your lives including the ones who haven’t realised it yet.  To my ex friend I say thank you for going off with my ex partner.  At the time it wasn’t nice, but it taught me to appreciate the women in my life and they helped me get through that dark chapter.  I don’t know what she’s doing right now as they are no longer together but I hope she has found some girlfriends that she trusts and can rely on – life is too short to do it on our own.

BTW, I really respect my friends’ husbands – they truly are some best friends worth having and I say thank you to them for allowing me time with their wonderful wives and never complaining when Glynny comes to visit!