Sometimes the signs are clear and it’s easy to know where to go, but often there’s confusion and a sense of trepidation too. Since deciding that I would give up my safe and secure job with guaranteed income back in June 2013, life has been an interesting journey.
In all of it, I have had to really work my trust and faith in believing that everything would “turn out” just fine. Interestingly of course, there is no end in sight to tick off “turn out” turned out just fine, as it is an ongoing process called living! My life’s “car” can have the tyres pumped, tank filled, oil checked, water in the wipers and the GPS connected, but if I don’t put the key in the ignition and start the engine, I’m not going anywhere! And when I do start the engine, what if there are road works and I get diverted?
Life is as simple or as complicated as we make it and there are times when I just want to turn off the engine and park for a while. Then there are the times when the road is clear, it’s long and straight and I like to fly down the middle of it, hair flowing in the wind, a song on my lips and joy in my heart!
I keep moving though, slowly in heavy traffic or zippy and pumped when the road is clear to enjoy a sun shining kind of ride! If I break down, what am I going to do? Sit and cry? Forever? No, I find a solution, maybe I do sit and cry for a moment, but then I fix the problem and get going again.
I think I have realised that it is so day to day this thing called living. Next year really doesn’t matter if I can’t appreciate today. Tomorrow is always going to come, in its own way. I have to keep my car ready but at times I may leave the doors open and things will fall out and get lost. And some days I might just want to pull over, stop for a while and contemplate the horizon.
My life three years ago was busy, at times stressful, with no time to just be. In the three years since, I have done so much that I’m proud of – The Happiness Café weekly radio show; providing meaningful ceremonies for weddings and funerals; facilitating a monthly Death Café in my village; volunteering at a local hospice ward; writing my blog; being at home with my boys and my animals; connecting with interesting people at home and abroad; even starting a Peace Centre for a while and all along, being me. I may be financially poorer for now, but I am creatively and inspiringly richer.
I am happy I made the decision to search for something different as the difference has been clear – I have more time for me and more time to be, something I value greatly in this busy world