Hasta la vista Juan

Juan Correa

Gone but not forgotten

Today we said goodbye to Juan Correa Maturana, 40 years young, a son, a colleague and a friend to many.  I had the pleasure of working with Juan during my time at Planet Space.  He was a hard worker, meticulous in all that he did and a collector of anything about to be thrown in the bin!  His desk was a collection of interesting bits and pieces and Juan was always the one to save useful rubbish from being thrown away by our customers.

He drove the van the way he approached work – hard and fast!  He listened to the radio, tuning into rock, heavy metal, anything loud that went with driving a van fast.  Many a sleepy morning when I would have to take the van out of the warehouse, starting the engine and having the radio kick in would jolt me into the day with the blare of Juan’s music choice from the day before.

No job was too hard for Juan.  He had no time for fools either so many a time Juan would step in and finish a job with the forklift that I was capable of botching up, luckily before I would.  He liked my cakes, always saving his slice for when he would really take the time to appreciate and savour every last morsel.

I bumped into him in Binissalem one day last November when he had come for the day to check on his beloved dogs.  It was raining, the day was pretty grim and Juan was below energy, par for the course with his illness.  I took him back to my place as it was lunch time and Pau and I were going to eat.  Juan stayed for a while, eating taking as long as Pau normally takes – another virgo.  But this time eating was not the same as it had always been for Juan.  He asked me why I had not been to visit him in hospital in the preceeding months.  I can’t remember what I said but I did say sorry and I did say I had no excuse, it was what I do best, bury my head.  I am glad he asked me though.

I last saw Juan this past Saturday at the Hospital General in Palma, in the palliative care unit.  His mother was there and his dear friend Jan, former girlfriend and an incredible woman.  These two women were with him to the end.  Friends and colleagues came daily to see him although by now he was not able to acknowledge them but he was aware of us all.  One such visitor was like a father figure to him – owner of Complete Marine Freight and Planet Space, Peter Sell.  Peter told me how he had said goodbye to Juan some days before his passing.  Juan managed to squeeze his hand even though by this time Juan was out for the count.

I know Juan would have been happy with the gathering today.  He would have loved seeing STP maintenance department being represented as well as longtime, faithful customer Noel Dyne.  Old colleagues were there and Manu, our faithful every Wednesday sales rep too.  We were all there, his CMF compis led by his work bff Lucy as well as his PS buddies.  His mum, bless her, kept her dignity and welcomed everyone of us and along with Jan and a primo-hermano, the family was complete.  The only one unable to be there of course was Juan!

Juan, I’m sure you’ve got a brand new van to drive where you are now, music blaring!  Along with a motorbike, boat, the open air and your hair flying in the wind, you must be rocking!  We will miss your collection of bits and pieces around your desk.  Packing crates and pallets won’t be the same without you.  Seeing you show up looking snazzy for a night out will truly be missed.

Juan, que sepas, todos te queremos y todos te echaremos de menos.  Descansa en Paz brother – we love you!

Harmony

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Happy family!

We’re getting there, the ex and I!  It’s coming up to 8 years this summer that we split up in a manner befitting a Mexican soap opera but that’s all in the past now.  I behaved badly in the beginning – and how – but gradually I learned things about myself and started to grow up and take responsibility for me first.  It was my mid-life crisis – if I live to 90 that is – and now I am happy to know that I don’t need another mid-life crisis, one was enough!

This week I have appreciated my ex’s kindness as out of the blue yesterday he showed up at the door with wood he had cut for the fire.  It’s little things like this that really create a good atmosphere.  Without thinking therefore, I offered dinner that evening and we sat with second-born and enjoyed a meal together.  First-born, as often happens, was out!!

This week I have also appreciated first born´s efforts to make up for leaving the cake out on Sunday.  Resident diva-cat Miss Mypenny Mishau very delicately ate one half of the carrot cake I had made for a customer!  I think it was worth losing the business because my older son has been making smoothies for the family before he rushes off to work at 7am.  How lovely it is to get up to that every morning this week.  I even forgive the dishes in the sink although I wasn’t amused at the fruit in the general bin instead of bringing in the organic bin from outside!  Oh well, I am getting there, slowly.

The topic for the show this week is on harmony so I have been thinking a lot about what that means to me.  It’s all very well that I ask our listeners to comment but I too have to have some thoughts.  So I have been remembering when I used to go and visit my brother and his wife when I was in my 20s and their house was always so harmonious.  They never watched tv, infact they went without tv for over a year once because they believed it to be broken, or was that what they told the kids!  We would visit and the children would be busy playing or doing arty things if the weather was bad and always the atmosphere was a peaceful one.

I think harmony has to accompany silence, quiet, it’s the peaceful moments that create harmony.  The vibrations we pass onto each other can be harmonious or not, just like a music that has harmony can create a stillness in our heart but if the music grates away, that too can grate upon our soul and disturb us.

I enjoy my life very much.  I am happy that I am growing up and learning more and more as each year goes by.  As my beloved father used to say to me on my birthdays – it’s not another year older, it’s another one wiser.  It’s true.  Opening my heart, my eyes and my ears to all around and listening for the music, the harmony, life is so much easier.  For sure, I have moments in which I cannot hear anything except the noise of my mind and my heart beats faster and my eyes blink and doesn’t see much.  But the soap opera way of living in my 20s and 30s is slowly leaving me.

Being the better side of 50 is a wonderful experience so far.  Sure my body flops in yoga when teacher Eva effortlessly shows us another posture but the fact that I do yoga now is a plus.  I am learning to relax a bit more each time I get up and get creative, the dry throat and racing heart are still there but the mind is a little better.  Maybe by 80 years I shall get up and do improvisation with no hang ups at all!  By the way, first show with my improv class is on Sunday 8th March, International Women’s Day and in Spanish so I hope to see you there!

So harmony, welcome into my heart and my home – I enjoy having you as part of my life and I look forward to having you more and more.  Where does harmony come from?  I believe the first step is love, in loving myself I can experience more and more harmony in my life.  If I love me, I can love others more easily.  It’s not been easy at times in the last 8 years to love my ex but I wasn’t loving me enough.  Don’t get me wrong, he still drives me insane and I can make up a list as long as both my arms with complaints and criticisms when I get going.  That’s why harmony is so important in relationships and with love as the foundation, anything is possible.

Listen out to my show The Happiness Café next Monday at 10am.  Download the app and take me with you.  I look forward to hearing your thoughts on harmony too!

The Happiness Café Radio Show – http://www.mallorcasunshineradio.com

“Improv Show” with Estudio Gori Artieda Sunday, 8 March 2015 6pm in Teatre Lloseta, Mallorca

Us & Them

prostitution; brothels; European laws on prostitution

Anyone for shopping?

I caught an interesting documentary on television the other night, “Sex – Made in Germany”.  It seems that prostitution and all things related are legal in Germany and and the programme featured some very successful entrepreneurs and their businesses.  Apparently the state is bringing in some big bucks because of making the industry legal and along with them, private businesses are also raking it in.  However, as usual women don’t make as much money and some of the ways of earning a euro or two as a prostitute in Germany (or anywhere else in the world for that matter) are quite sad and shocking.

Prostitution is a big subject for me, much bigger than politics or religion about which you can hear me happily giving an opinion whenever you want!  For the record, I have voted and I have been to church so I have my opinion based on my experience.  I’ve not sold my sex for money and I’ve never been inside a brothel nor spoken to a prostitute so where does my in-built distrust and disgust come from regarding this age old industry?

I think this is where my matriarchal influenced life comes in, a place where women were their own bosses and no man told her what to do or how to do it.  My maternal grandmother stood her own ground against a patriarchal system and rose to the top of her profession in Jamaica back in the 30s and 40s, unheard of at the time.  My paternal grandmother was a busy mother of six, living on the breadline, but boss of her house and keeping everyone in check.  Has that influenced me?  For sure it has!  Men didn’t expect so little of women where I was growing up, they expected an awful lot.

I have had a blessed life in which education and values were bestowed upon me in all their glory.  As a girl growing up in the 60s and 70s, expectations were there, albeit it did seem limited at the time.  At 18yrs and leaving school the choices were university, teacher training, nursing or secretarial school – we were expected to do something with our lives.  I chose secretarial school as my cunning plan was to be CEO of a multi-national!  Unfortunately I read The Women’s Room by Marilyn French and things didn’t work out that way, but that’s another story!

The part of the documentary that really affected me was when the programme was interviewing the successful owner of one of the biggest chains of mega brothels in Germany.  Filmed at home with his four children who are privately educated in Waldorf and international schools, he is asked about them taking on the family business when they’re older.  His answer shows his pride of his children and he would be delighted if they took over the family business.  The interviewer then asks if he’d be happy with his daughters working as prostitutes and to see his face, appalled at the idea and then hear his answer jerked me back to reality!  Of course not was his answer!  What a brutal thought he shuddered!  Here is a man who would not want his own daughters to work as prostitutes yet his business celebrates prostitution!

Further disturbing facts about the documentary show how this type of establishment is considered the norm amongst men from all walks of life and they start going there when they legally can.  Here in Mallorca we have a lot of young Brits coming on holiday to Magalluf as a wierd rite of passage and in Germany, that rite of passage for boys is going to one of these mega brothels instead!  I can’t imagine my sons as clients in that sort of place.  First born never did a Magalluf rite of passage either!

How sad it is that the one of the most wonderful expressions of human love namely sexual expression can be turned into something so sordid.  Physical love, an opportunity to sexually connect and explore on another dimension but instead used as a service in which the man has the power and connecting to someone’s feelings don’t come into it.  I have nothing against prostitutes, facts show that many of them are there because of sexual abuse, poverty, violence or trafficking.  I simply do not understand how men can pay for sex.  There is nothing glamorous or sexy about it, there is nothing sweet or cute about it, there is nothing that I can see that makes it acceptable – nothing about exploiting women is right to me!

For the prostitute, things did get a little better with these new laws in Germany which allowed prostitution to become legal but it wasn’t enough.  As usual, elsewhere in the world, prostitution is alive and kicking and still benefitting men.

And for the father who expects so much from his daughters, how sad that underneath it all it’s about us and them at the end of the day.

 

Interesting reading:

http://s.telegraph.co.uk/graphics/projects/welcome-to-paradise/

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-26261221

http://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2013/jun/12/germany-now-europes-biggest-brothel

http://prostitution.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=000772