Rebirthing and rewriting “his”story

Conscious breathing

Conscious breathing

I had the most incredible session of rebirthing this week with one of the mums from the school who dedicates her life to accompanying people on this journey.  I must add that about 30 years ago, I spent a weekend in the company of old women at a rebirthing weekend workshop (I was in my early 20s and these women must have been in their 40s and above)!  That turned out to be a life changing event with two beautiful past life experiences.  However, from what this mother was telling me about her rebirthing work, it seemed to be slightly different, but I was open to going along to a session with her and I did just that and am so happy to have done so.

What is rebirthing?  It is a simple and gentle yet powerful conscious breathing technique as well as a powerful healing method which offers one an experience of freedom and mastery in their life.  Well, it opened up some major healing for me and extended to other generations of my family too.  To explain then.

Estrella the rebirther began the session having instructed me not to wear any perfumes or colognes and to dress comfortably.  She warned me to expect to be with her for about 3 hours.  I arrived at her beautiful and welcoming home in Mancor de la Vall with the sun shining through the open window of her studio where she rebirths her clients.  She began the session with a professional and informative introduction as to what she does and I immediately felt secure and safe as well as impressed by her confidence and knowledge.  She talked about the three pillars of rebirthing – conscious breathing, spiritual awakening and connecting to the elements, more or less that as I cannot remember very clearly as the rest of the session blew me out of this world!

I was ready to go and so we began the first part of the session which basically makes up most of the work and that of the conscious breathing.  I lay down for the beginning of this and even though breathing is something we automatically do every moment of every day of our lives, conscious breathing is an altogether different experience.  It was not so much as uncomfortable although there were moments in the beginning which were difficult but it was more liberating when I got into the rhythm of it.  It was a very peaceful feeling as I sunk deeper and deeper into the experience.  I then changed position to a sitting up one – I think I was tending towards deep sleep which is not encouraged – and this is where things started to get intense.

Suddenly I felt myself well up into such an emotion of pain that I couldn’t speak, words were stuck in my throat, they couldn’t escape!  The realisation of a family secret and shame that should never have been were there, trying to get out.  The story here spoke of my paternal grandfather, Arthur Lionel Clewes German, a man I never knew.  A man, born illegitimate, to a wealthy, adulterous couple, for they were married but not to each other at his inception.  Arthur Lionel, angry at his fate, never allowing his birth mother to step over his threshold although my own father’s memories of her had her arriving in her Rolls Royce laden with presents for her six grandchildren.  As I breathed and cried out in pain, I saw clearly my grandfather’s mistake – he was born in love, from love and his birth mother continued to always love him.  He rejected her as surely she had abandonned him to a humble and modest family with no money for education and furthering his career.  His work on the mines fed his anger and he worked tirelessly for justice for the miners and was a loyal and devoted husband and father.  I fed love into my breathing and took in forgiveness and recognition in same breaths.  Arthur Lionel, you did what was best although forgiveness didn’t play a part and you died suddenly at age 59 at work one day.

As surely as the pain gripped me, it subsided and I felt at peace along with incredible love for my parents and siblings, for my nieces and nephews, for my sons, for my aunts and uncles and cousins – in Wales and over in the Caribbean and Americas.  Love raced through my breathing, filling me, expanding within me and it felt good.  Of course, this is a journey and just as I had left behind Arthur Lionel, Stanley Leopold Bell, father of my mother, presented himself.  Tears mixed with laughter accompanied this meeting.  Oh the beautiful irony of the fact that just now, at this stage of my life, I realised I never knew my grandfathers and the one grandfather I knew and grew up with, Ernest John “Monty” Montgomery, had never fathered a child.  He brought me magic throughout my childhood along with adventure and curiosity.  The bittersweet irony wasn’t lost on me as I continued to breathe love and appreciation to all the men in my family who have been exceptional and present fathers to their children.  I forgave myself for my limitations, for my mistakes in love, for my fears of intimacy and I breathed life back into myself and my family.  All was good, everything was settled and realisations made their presence known.

Estrella brought me back to the room, to the present moment, settled me into a cocoon of blankets and love and left me to absorb this new energy, this clean and pure moment for myself.  After ten minutes, she came back to me and together we rejoiced in the complexity and simplicity of life and my rebirthing session came to an end.

And today, a couple of days on from this incredible journey to the past and back, I am settled and confident that I can bring to peace and closure to my past and to the past of my birth family.

Thank you.

Rebirthing with Estrella del Pozo (Spanish)                     

British Rebirth Society                                                              


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