Changes, challenges and choices

Wise woman by my side!

Wise woman by my side!

This week has been likened to birthing and I should know, I had two home births but this was nothing like them!  The pain I have been through over the last week was intense, relentless and seemed never-ending but as with all contractions and pushes, my new baby was born – my future.

After 5.5 years of working at Planet Space Self Storage, certainly the best job I have ever had, with the nicest bosses and colleagues who cared about me and visa versa, I resigned.  I have no job to go to, friends were worried for my financial future but the decision was taken with the love and support of those special to me.  My mother was the one who pointed out that for the future I hankered for, there was only one solution.  Leave the comfort and safety of my job, say goodbye to what I know and greet the unknown and be open to receiving.

When I realised the choice was mine and mine alone, it suddenly became that simple – time to let go of the river bank and go with the flow of the river towards the wide, open sea.  To say I am scared and nervous is the truth but the excitement and enthusiasm inside me to be able to say no to the fear and do it anyway has taken over.

At 51 years of age, I am tired of holding back, of feeling scared of what others think of me, nervous about remembering my lines – the ones of my life.  I feel that by applying those values that have always been dear to me, I can jump into my future, feet first and head high.  Remembering my dad during this painful process made me realise that no matter what, he was never concerned about the money.  He lost jobs because of his beliefs, he moved countries because authorities couldn’t handle him but he laughed, he loved and boy did he live!

Between him and my mother telling me to go for it, I can’t fail.  With the love and respect felt from those important to me, I can’t fail.  With the smile on my face as I consider the absurdity of the world today, I cannot fail.

Changes, challenges and choices.  Translated…  we are here to live, learn and above all love life.


Local Heros

Conexión Samantha

Conexión Samantha

I have a new hero.  Jordi Evolve from Salvados has been my hero of the past year but the excitement has worn off and yesterday evening I found a new one!  Samanta Villar from Conexión Samanta is my new cool, rock chica hero – I love her!  So why do I need a hero?  I think we all need one, especially nowadays with this relentless, on-going crisis and depression that Spain is going through, never mind the rest of the world.  I am not a fan of bad news and try to stay clear of it.  I really don’t need or want to know how much is being stolen from the people; how many are being evicted and how much they are expected to pay of their mortgages once they have no home to live in.  No, I really don’t want to know because there but for the grace of God go I.

So why Samantha and what has she got that other TV presenters haven’t?  Empathy.  That young woman is full of it!  I have seen her out and about on TV for the last couple of years and always enjoyed how she gets people, really tries to understand them and doesn’t judge them.  That’s one helluva maturity and I admire maturity in people so much, especially when I feel I have not shown much of it in so many spaces and places in my life.

Last night’s programme dealt with the sad truth about those being evicted in Spain and about the courage so many of them have found to lift their heads up and keep going.  The “okupas” in Andalusia were the main subject of the show and vaya gente, what a people.  Samantha gave them space, these were real people, not dressed up in anything other than being those who through bad luck and unfair consequences have had to move into empty buildings owned by the banks and speculators and not without a lot of pain and suffering, never mind no water and electricity.  She had an empathy that makes her a hero in my book – she held their hands, she cried with them, she felt their pain and that is what came through last night.  There but for the grace of God go I.