Fish out of water

Last night I MC’d an event for the first time.  I have officiated weddings, hosted a charity event but this was a first for me.  As I am wanting to move into this arena of my life then it is important that I go along and step into the unknown.  It was for local foundation Respiralia who have a centre for cystic fibrosis – great people, very generous with their time and their efforts.

It was an interesting evening but it got me thinking on the way home how I have always felt different.  I was born in Jamaica to a Jamaican mother and a Welsh father, invited to leave there when I was 4 and a half to go to England and at 10 years we moved up to my father’s land, North Wales.  My first experience in infant school when we arrived in Teddington Middlesex – must have been sometime during the school year so I didn’t start school at the same time as everyone else – and being very dark skinned with black eyes, I was called a nig nog!  Not a pleasant experience and bless my parents for responding to my question as to what one was with “feel sorry for those people”.  A simple “you don’t have to put up with anyone’s ignorance but that’s what it is” may have helped, who knows!

So, feeling different started way back.  Last night was no exception.  It was a predominantly local feel to the dinner, lots of Mallorquins and Spanish with a touch of English.  I sat with some charming British ladies and sold raffle tickets to everyone there!  But I just don’t feel part of it.  It’s obviously me!  It doesn’t bother me really as I am so used to it but it makes me wonder a lot.

My first born Noah is so comfortable with himself.  He was born here and he is Spanish.  He is surrounded by friends – they go on forever!  He fits in wherever he goes and he can call Mallorca home.  I imagine he will leave the island soon to travel – he’s a hippy adventurer after all.  But he has a bond to somewhere, this island, home.

I found that home 12 years ago, here in the village of Binissalem which is where I feel safe, where I feel comfortable.  I am still a fish out of water – that mad hippy woman who’s really friendly and speaks Mallorquin!

Anyone else feel this way?  Not the mad hippy bit or maybe yes.

PS – With Christmas dinners and events coming up, why not try this for a sit down dinner?  Everyone on the table has a number and after the first course the odd numbers swop with another table, say there’s only two large tables, any more tables then just go round.  At the end of the second course, the even numbers swop and just before dessert you can go back to your original table!  Call me a mad hippy but I want to chat with more than just the people on either side and opposite me!


One thought on “Fish out of water

  1. Can totally identify with you – have always felt like a fish out of water… parents were two extremes – my dad was a ‘black pat’ irish ghetto in wales and my mum is blue blood…..never really felt like I belong anywhere but most of the time find common ground. Loved your post – inspiring.


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